I’m sorry, but I needed to rant

This is a rant about being mistaken for “a typical Air Force spouse”. I originally posted it on Facebook.

Oh! How delightful a term you’ve all labeled me. I find it so humorous when people I barely know choose to define me based off loose assumptions. These people could simply ask the questions that matter, but they don’t, because they’re more comfortable believing everyone has the same story.

Where was I about a year ago?
It wasn’t in a military town on the east coast or the west coast. In fact I was in a country called Sweden, where the beer was expensive but I could drink on the subway.

Where did I see my future?
Not in this country actually. I wanted to stay in Sweden… Forever…

What changed?
Well obviously my path changed. It brought me all the way around the world again to Seattle… but essentially my goals have not changed at all. I still seek high professional achievements. I want to finish my degree, and then I’d like to go back into the military once I can dispute and clear my previous discharge with the board.

None of this has changed since I met G.

A strong relationship needs both parties to have interesting lives of their own to share. I’m pretty sure I’ve already lived an interesting life actually, but the past apparently doesn’t count. Only the present matters; and because I’m presently unemployed and obviously struggling to find my feet, the assumption is I will be this way forever.

Incorrect. How long have you know me for? How many times have you seen me fall? How often have you seen me bounce back?

I’m not known by the people close to me for approaching my life as if there’s some book of guidelines telling me my options. I find my options, even when I’m not trying to… If I learn that I really suck at something I’m probably not going to continue torturing myself with it.

I’m technically unemployed right now but I know that I’m employable. I’ve made the decision that I will probably not have another opportunity (like right now) to try and write full-time — at least not until I’m of retirement age. Because I’ve also decided to try to follow G to Nevada this summer, I’ve learned my job prospects are rather pitiful there. So you know what would be nice? Being able to work from anywhere and being paid to do so…

There’s no harm in trying is there?

Let’s see… what else?

I’ve been divorced twice. Tell me why I would jump into a marriage again? I’m divorced twice, and both from military relationships. I say again, why would I jump into marriage again… and so early too? You want to hear bad things about me, feel free to ask around. I’m no angel. My collection of last names tell that story — Hoffman and Lindner are on my friends list. They won’t lie.

Regardless, stop asking when I plan to get married again. I’m not ready for that. Christ…

Resolutions…

I suppose I’ll have to deal with the fact a certain group of people will continue believing I’m “the standard”… I have to remember that I never need to defend myself from the people who actually know me and care for me. However a deep resentment still burns within me when someone comes along to tell me what I am. It only adds to my desire to be more different… and it will probably make me feel that much better when I leave them all behind…

—
I will someday earn more money and hold more assets than my boyfriend does… or fiance… or husband… or whatever funny label you want to pin on whoever he happens to be…

I will write a few books, if not for a living, then just because I feel I need to write, and it’s something I enjoy doing…

I will do my best to prove my case to the Army Discharge Review Board, and if I am successful in having my discharge upgraded and corrected, I will serve honorably in the US Air Force.

Furthermore I will continue to TRY not to judge and label others without getting to know them to some fair degree.

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